Random

so I've decided that i like water color. for the longest time i would hate any art project that Mrs Dalton made us do that involved water color. But the other day i had the most random urge to go find my old watercolor set and go paint. so i did cause i had time, and now I've decided that water color isn't so horrible after all. Actually right now I'm waiting for the bottom coat of a piece to dry so i can paint a plane. a DC-3 to be exact.

i hate breaks from school. as nice as not having to wake us early is, i hate being bored. because when I'm bored, i think to much. and thinking hurts. haha yea not in that way. nope, thinking makes it feel like my lungs are missing. its hard to breath, then i kick myself cause i know i shouldn't be thinking about this kind of thing anyways. And I've decided i hate the color green. cause every time i see it, i start thinking.

anyways. My dad got home from Charlotte last night, and omg was he in an emo mood. my mom was asleep on the couch when he got home, and he managed to get it in his head that she was sleeping on the couch because she didn't want him to be home. seriously that man is worse than me as far as taking things that actually don't mean anything and assigning way to much to it.
and then he decided that the person he needed to talk to about this was me. i had managed to forget for a little while and it seemed like every thing he said blew the hole in my chest open wider. i don't know why it effected me so bad this time. it wasn't like this was the first time he had ever unloaded all he problems onto me, but it just seemed to open so many old scars. it was wierd.

Also i read my bible for the first time in awhile last night. It was nice. I'm glad though that this year i've been able to hold onto my faith. i know it's not my strength that did it. but i'm glad i still have it.


i really am a happy person. i promise.

and again. sorry about all the randomness.