There is a piece of each person that is perfect and good. A Christian would say that it is an aspect of the God in whose image we were created. A spiritual gift if you will. An Evolutionist would say it was the culmination of 200 million years of guess and check.
Whatever it is, I have seen it to often too ever deny its existence; these moments of purity of mind a motivation.In my friend Kay it is unstoppable childlike optimism. In laura it is the abiblity to be totally non-judgmental. In Bee it is compassion for those who don't deserve it. For me it is humor and undivided focus. In my father it is a love of sharing knowledge. In my mother its is selfless giving. In Ori it is defending those who can't or won't defend themselves. In Mr. Mac it is discerning the correct course and following it. In my friend Alyssa it is discerning a need and meeting it.
These traits are not always shown. But when they shine through a rough exterior something beautiful in born. Sometimes a life is saved.
When I wonder about humanity as a whole, whether or not we will survive to bear witness to the end of Gods plan. Or if there's any point in existing at all. When I see terrorists and rapists. When I despair.I see a moment of pure and unadulterated kindness or compassion and my hopes are restored.
That’s my philosophical/optomistic tidbit for the month = ]
Friday, April 13, 2007
Saturday, April 7, 2007
I remember..
whats happened?
that's pretty much all i can say.
i remember when rules were absolutes. i remember when dad said something it was finished. there was no quarter.
i remember when a mistake was unacceptable. this sounds harsh, but it made me better. its sounds horrible, but it kept order and made things predictable.
i remember when touchy-feely didn't exist, when a hug was sacred. we showed affection in other, more meaningful ways.
i remember when they showed true and real emotion, and they showed that life wasn't easy, but if you try real hard, you'll get what you need.
i remember when discipline was pure and final. perhaps shown to much. but the consequences of your actions were always known.
i remember when Easter candy was about anticipation and excitement, not about obligation or meaningless tradition.
i remember when Christmas was about God and you saw him in the excitement and the love shown by family. not having to get a tree and decorate it.
i remember when life was about duty and obligation, not about whining about it.
i wish remembering wasn't the only thing i could do about it.
is this growing up?
life losing all sparkle and shine?
losing what you get to do, replaced by who and what you have to be?
that's pretty much all i can say.
i remember when rules were absolutes. i remember when dad said something it was finished. there was no quarter.
i remember when a mistake was unacceptable. this sounds harsh, but it made me better. its sounds horrible, but it kept order and made things predictable.
i remember when touchy-feely didn't exist, when a hug was sacred. we showed affection in other, more meaningful ways.
i remember when they showed true and real emotion, and they showed that life wasn't easy, but if you try real hard, you'll get what you need.
i remember when discipline was pure and final. perhaps shown to much. but the consequences of your actions were always known.
i remember when Easter candy was about anticipation and excitement, not about obligation or meaningless tradition.
i remember when Christmas was about God and you saw him in the excitement and the love shown by family. not having to get a tree and decorate it.
i remember when life was about duty and obligation, not about whining about it.
i wish remembering wasn't the only thing i could do about it.
is this growing up?
life losing all sparkle and shine?
losing what you get to do, replaced by who and what you have to be?
Saturday, March 17, 2007
The play, God, Examples..
well the play is over.... = [[[
I'm so sad cause this play has changed me so much. i thought that there would be no way we could pull it off a week ago. we hadn't gotten in enough practices, we weren't really acting serious about it. Bee was obviously doubtful that we were ready. but the awesome thing was that Bee, and the Seniors and Em all seemed to really trust God that we would be able to do it. and i was like wow...
and lo and behold we did the performances better than i thought possible.
But the fact that Bee is having a baby in like 3 weeks kinds ruins the prospect of doing it again next year.
I'm so happy for them (bee and tom) and this is soooo not about me, but it won't be the same without them. bee and em have shown such devotion and kindness its kinda hard to believe.
lol we had the cast party last night and i don't think I've ever seen more people crying over one person. She has touched all of us so much, even me, whose only known her for 2 plays, was sobbing. (that's partly my personality but still) and the fact that she seemed to have a place in her heart for every single one of us, even for the people like me that have only known her for a little while was just so amazing. i hope she realizes the godly example she set for me.
on Monday, kay and i lied to her. we told her we were goin out to talk to our parents and we weren't. kay actually left but that's not the point. she found out somehow and we talked about it. i told her i didn't believe she cared about me because she didn't know me very well. that was the second lie, now i feel horrible about it. cause she seemed to really want me to believe her, like it was important to her that i knew she cared about me. yea i feel like crap about that now...
= [
anyways, onto other things. today i read my bible a seriously prayed for the first time since before basketball started. it was awesome. people wonder why they don't get a lot out of reading their bibles, and i wondered the same thing, now i know its all about how your approaching it. is your reading the Bible so you can "get something out of it" then your prolly not gonna get a whole heck of a lot. but if you approach it as a way to communicate with God, and way to hear him respond to your prayers, then your more likely to hear something, it may not be what you want to hear, but its something.
i think i have my life going the right way finally. i realized that i hate what i am now, and the only way i can change is to put my trust in God. i don't know how to do the whole christian thing, and i don't really understand how to have a relationship with Him, but i trust that he'll lead me to the right places.
and now that i look back on these last couple of years . I've fell away from God. but he has introduced people into my life that have given me such a great example. i think if i didn't know these people then i would be a lot farther from God than i am.
and because i would think it was awesome to be that person for someone I'm going to list their names: pastor Garret, Coach Clark, Jess, Bee, Em, Liz, Kara, Megan S.. the list goes on but i can't think of them right now. but thank you guys for being an awesome example and thank you God for allowing me back into your arms.
= ]
I'm so sad cause this play has changed me so much. i thought that there would be no way we could pull it off a week ago. we hadn't gotten in enough practices, we weren't really acting serious about it. Bee was obviously doubtful that we were ready. but the awesome thing was that Bee, and the Seniors and Em all seemed to really trust God that we would be able to do it. and i was like wow...
and lo and behold we did the performances better than i thought possible.
But the fact that Bee is having a baby in like 3 weeks kinds ruins the prospect of doing it again next year.
I'm so happy for them (bee and tom) and this is soooo not about me, but it won't be the same without them. bee and em have shown such devotion and kindness its kinda hard to believe.
lol we had the cast party last night and i don't think I've ever seen more people crying over one person. She has touched all of us so much, even me, whose only known her for 2 plays, was sobbing. (that's partly my personality but still) and the fact that she seemed to have a place in her heart for every single one of us, even for the people like me that have only known her for a little while was just so amazing. i hope she realizes the godly example she set for me.
on Monday, kay and i lied to her. we told her we were goin out to talk to our parents and we weren't. kay actually left but that's not the point. she found out somehow and we talked about it. i told her i didn't believe she cared about me because she didn't know me very well. that was the second lie, now i feel horrible about it. cause she seemed to really want me to believe her, like it was important to her that i knew she cared about me. yea i feel like crap about that now...
= [
anyways, onto other things. today i read my bible a seriously prayed for the first time since before basketball started. it was awesome. people wonder why they don't get a lot out of reading their bibles, and i wondered the same thing, now i know its all about how your approaching it. is your reading the Bible so you can "get something out of it" then your prolly not gonna get a whole heck of a lot. but if you approach it as a way to communicate with God, and way to hear him respond to your prayers, then your more likely to hear something, it may not be what you want to hear, but its something.
i think i have my life going the right way finally. i realized that i hate what i am now, and the only way i can change is to put my trust in God. i don't know how to do the whole christian thing, and i don't really understand how to have a relationship with Him, but i trust that he'll lead me to the right places.
and now that i look back on these last couple of years . I've fell away from God. but he has introduced people into my life that have given me such a great example. i think if i didn't know these people then i would be a lot farther from God than i am.
and because i would think it was awesome to be that person for someone I'm going to list their names: pastor Garret, Coach Clark, Jess, Bee, Em, Liz, Kara, Megan S.. the list goes on but i can't think of them right now. but thank you guys for being an awesome example and thank you God for allowing me back into your arms.
= ]
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
this week....
i figured it might be fun, even though i already have a myspace, to have a blog. mostly because i hate the myspace blog thing. so here i am... happily blogging away.
yea so today was officially the most annoying day ever! normally at the end of a sports season you give your coaches some sort of gift. well steph had this idea that we would write a poem about memories and stuff that we learned during the season and have it frames and made all nice and we would give them that.
well i thought well thats a gay idea but whatever. so i started to work on it. then today and yesterday i find out that nobody wants to do it besides steph, and the whole team is annoyed because they thinks its a dumb idea. And they're mad at me! and it wasn't even my idea! agh! so annoying.
whatever...
oh and yesterday was bad to cause bee was pissed at something and flipped out on us at play practice. we deserved it, but still it sucked to have her yell at us and to see her all upset.
and Monday was bad to cause it seemed like everybody but me and kay were really pissed at something, kay and i were late to play practice cause we thought it started at 5 when it really started at 4 and bee sent sarah to come find us... soooo embarassing seeing as how sarah had to drive around lima for like 20 minutes trying to find us...
so basically i had a bad week...
and I'm in a fantastic mood....how does that work?
yea so today was officially the most annoying day ever! normally at the end of a sports season you give your coaches some sort of gift. well steph had this idea that we would write a poem about memories and stuff that we learned during the season and have it frames and made all nice and we would give them that.
well i thought well thats a gay idea but whatever. so i started to work on it. then today and yesterday i find out that nobody wants to do it besides steph, and the whole team is annoyed because they thinks its a dumb idea. And they're mad at me! and it wasn't even my idea! agh! so annoying.
whatever...
oh and yesterday was bad to cause bee was pissed at something and flipped out on us at play practice. we deserved it, but still it sucked to have her yell at us and to see her all upset.
and Monday was bad to cause it seemed like everybody but me and kay were really pissed at something, kay and i were late to play practice cause we thought it started at 5 when it really started at 4 and bee sent sarah to come find us... soooo embarassing seeing as how sarah had to drive around lima for like 20 minutes trying to find us...
so basically i had a bad week...
and I'm in a fantastic mood....how does that work?
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