ANNOUNCMENT!:
i am officially the biggest nerd in the world.
its something that I've suspected for awhile now. but the fact was really driven home the other day, when, with out smoking anything, i met my math teacher for lunch.
harmless right?
except that it wasn't cause i was in trouble. Nope, it was for FUN.
i feel like such a dork.
but really? whats wrong with me that i enjoy the company of adults and cool people like the Schwartz twins and Mrs Reiman more that people my age? isn't it more normal for teenagers to be awkward around adults and comfortable with their peers? i don't know. I'm just a strange one i guess.
additional thought: what should i do when adults confide in me? seeing as how the only who read this are adults. help me out here. If you decided that a someone like me was the one that you could talk to about your life, how would you want me to react?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
English is my least favorite
Another idea that last post just made me think of.
do you realize how limited the english language is in its descriptive words?
i hate trying to explain how somthing looks, sounds, or especially how somthing smells. It just seems like there aren't ever the right words for what that sense ment to you.
and other languages seem much more specific in their adjectives. Its funny to listen to a pastor trying the use a paragrach of english words to try to explain somthing that the greeks said in a word.
do you realize how limited the english language is in its descriptive words?
i hate trying to explain how somthing looks, sounds, or especially how somthing smells. It just seems like there aren't ever the right words for what that sense ment to you.
and other languages seem much more specific in their adjectives. Its funny to listen to a pastor trying the use a paragrach of english words to try to explain somthing that the greeks said in a word.
Language of the soul
i think one of Gods most amazin creations is music.
for me at least, the music i listen to is the side of my personality i allow to become dominant. My mom says that "music is the language of the soul." and the more i think about that the more it makes sense.
last year when i was going through my hardcore emo times, all i listened to basically was the band evanescence. They are amazing musicians, and amy lee has one of the most hauntingly beautiful voices i've heard. But the tone and feel of their songs is that of complete and total despair. I you have to listen to them to really understand.
But my attitude and feeling about everything pretty much mirrored that feeling expressed in those songs i loved. i was miserable. thats really the only was to describe it.
About the same time i decided that i needed to change was about the same time i realized how those songs were effecting me. i made a consious decision to stop listening to that kind of music. The bands whose words would say that my actions were justified. And i think more than anything else that has been my major support in rebuiling myself as somthing better. i still absolutly love the band evanescence, but i understand that i cannot allow myself to listen to them. their effect on me is too strong.
and when you think about it, even outside of that slightly embarrassing revelation about my past, when you meet someone new, and you find out that they like the same kind of music as you, there is a sudden feeling of kinship. I might be going way out on a limb here, but it's something i've noticed in myself as well as the behavior of other people.
I don't know if its just a teenager thing, but i deffinatly think music is what effects me most.
for me at least, the music i listen to is the side of my personality i allow to become dominant. My mom says that "music is the language of the soul." and the more i think about that the more it makes sense.
last year when i was going through my hardcore emo times, all i listened to basically was the band evanescence. They are amazing musicians, and amy lee has one of the most hauntingly beautiful voices i've heard. But the tone and feel of their songs is that of complete and total despair. I you have to listen to them to really understand.
But my attitude and feeling about everything pretty much mirrored that feeling expressed in those songs i loved. i was miserable. thats really the only was to describe it.
About the same time i decided that i needed to change was about the same time i realized how those songs were effecting me. i made a consious decision to stop listening to that kind of music. The bands whose words would say that my actions were justified. And i think more than anything else that has been my major support in rebuiling myself as somthing better. i still absolutly love the band evanescence, but i understand that i cannot allow myself to listen to them. their effect on me is too strong.
and when you think about it, even outside of that slightly embarrassing revelation about my past, when you meet someone new, and you find out that they like the same kind of music as you, there is a sudden feeling of kinship. I might be going way out on a limb here, but it's something i've noticed in myself as well as the behavior of other people.
I don't know if its just a teenager thing, but i deffinatly think music is what effects me most.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
polkadot coffee cups
wow i haven't posted in forever.
a few updates on my boring life and then onto the philosophy:
These college classes i'm taking this summer have been going really well. My precalc teacher is really cool, and the class is really small, there's only 5 of us, so if you have a question you don't feel like quite as much of an idiot. And one of my chief complaints about math in high school is that the class can't move fast enough. some people who don't like math or aren't good at it still have to take it and therefore the teacher has to move at a certain pace through the material. this is not the case in the courses I'm taking this summer. the class is a 16 week class compressed into the 5 week long summer semester, so we can't really slow down, which is good cause then i don't get as bored. = ]
I'm not as excited about my stat class, cause the class is HUGE and my professor is a jerk. and its 4 hours long. But i suppose it could be a lot worse.
but an unfortunate side-effect of these classes is that when my family usually goes to cape cod for a couple weeks, i had to be left behind. so for the rest of this week I'm gonna be home alone with the dog and have to go to class everyday. I'm gonna be so bored.
and I'm gonna get so fat. With out my mom giving me the disappointed look every 2 hours, there's no way I'm gonna get out there and work out lol = ]
anyways that's my life as of now, and i know i promised philosophy, i can't really articulate my thoughts right now. maybe later. but i have 4 hours of math homework do do. so I'll see ya later,
PS Mr D got a blog! I'm excited, cause normally when christian people blog about "Christianity" i feel like it has nothing to do with my life. they post personal things about their walk, and don't get me wrong, it makes my day so much better to know someone else is actually succeeding at being a good person and a good christian. but as my bible teacher Mr D said some really interesting stuff that helped me figure my life out a little bit better, and as he said several times, and a 45 minute period we don't have time to discuss many things and still get through the established syllabus.
i don't know if i just confessed to being the biggest nerd in the universe right then. but whatever.
see ya'll later
a few updates on my boring life and then onto the philosophy:
These college classes i'm taking this summer have been going really well. My precalc teacher is really cool, and the class is really small, there's only 5 of us, so if you have a question you don't feel like quite as much of an idiot. And one of my chief complaints about math in high school is that the class can't move fast enough. some people who don't like math or aren't good at it still have to take it and therefore the teacher has to move at a certain pace through the material. this is not the case in the courses I'm taking this summer. the class is a 16 week class compressed into the 5 week long summer semester, so we can't really slow down, which is good cause then i don't get as bored. = ]
I'm not as excited about my stat class, cause the class is HUGE and my professor is a jerk. and its 4 hours long. But i suppose it could be a lot worse.
but an unfortunate side-effect of these classes is that when my family usually goes to cape cod for a couple weeks, i had to be left behind. so for the rest of this week I'm gonna be home alone with the dog and have to go to class everyday. I'm gonna be so bored.
and I'm gonna get so fat. With out my mom giving me the disappointed look every 2 hours, there's no way I'm gonna get out there and work out lol = ]
anyways that's my life as of now, and i know i promised philosophy, i can't really articulate my thoughts right now. maybe later. but i have 4 hours of math homework do do. so I'll see ya later,
PS Mr D got a blog! I'm excited, cause normally when christian people blog about "Christianity" i feel like it has nothing to do with my life. they post personal things about their walk, and don't get me wrong, it makes my day so much better to know someone else is actually succeeding at being a good person and a good christian. but as my bible teacher Mr D said some really interesting stuff that helped me figure my life out a little bit better, and as he said several times, and a 45 minute period we don't have time to discuss many things and still get through the established syllabus.
i don't know if i just confessed to being the biggest nerd in the universe right then. but whatever.
see ya'll later
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