Long Post. be prepared.

Hows life been?

as you can see from my previous post, i decided awhile ago that i think blogging is a by product of a self-obsessed culture. but hey, when in Rome?

so update on my activities since August:
Soccer season was amazing, and i kinda still wish it was still going on, even though its getting cold out. Basically we had the awesomest team ever. it was really small, we only had 12 to 14 players depending on who was hurt, but instead of letting it bother us, the team really stepped up this year.
It seemed like this year everyone cared. In past years it's seemed like half the team was only there because they felt they had too or because they were using soccer to get in shape for basketball. This year everyone wanted to be there and it made a huge difference in how we played, how we related to one another, and how much we won. We ended the season with a 9-7-1 record, the best I've ever been on. Perhaps that's a little pathetic, but it was really a great season and I'm gonna miss it.

School is really crappy. I've never struggled with school work like this before. and its not just normal senoritis, which i have an advanced case of. No my brain is just not functioning at the usual pace. i don't understand material, i forget my homework, and Mrs minter and Mrs Schwartz's attitude about class is distracting and makes it hard to focus.

its partly my fault. haha I've been trying to be stupid for so long its finally catching up to me. Oh well.

Basketball Started a couple of weeks ago. i don't know how its gonna go. i don't even want to play, but i felt like i had to cause you know its my senior year, "last chance" and all that crap. But they team is looking good. we all work together really well and i don't think there's going to be a lot of drama, which will help. Also everyone's gotten better since last year and we have some young new talent in the form of Alexis M. Si i don't know, we;'ll see how it goes. it would help if the season wasn't so incredibly long.

Oh and i was part of stage crew for drama. i wasn't in the play because my dad was pissed at me and wouldn't let me, but also because of soccer and school work and stuff. But stage crew was fun, and the cast party was a freakin riot. me and Alex played Water Pong = ] stupid anti-alcohol christian rules. lol = ]

this fall has been pretty fun actually. the first quarter just wrapped up and my grades were ok. Ashley, Dass, Stepha and i have gotten closer because of soccer and we've been hangin out a lot. its been fun, i like having friends = ]

Now onto the subject of colleges:

I HATE COLLEGE STUFF

doing applications gives me headaches. i hate arguing with my mom about where i want to go. i hate wanting to go to smith even though its like the definition of a radically Liberal college.
and they make you write a FREAKIN TON. ugh. I'm gonna quit school and be a hobo.

and i hate hate hate hate the word lesbian.
it has such an incredibly negative connotation. Its associated with all the stuff I've been taught is wrong but i have no problem with. Why can't we just let people be in love? I've heard and understood all the arguments against homosexuality( another word i hate)but personal experience has refuted them beyond reasonable doubt. I love people who love the "wrong people" I've loved the "wrong person" for nearly a year now, and besides the usual pain of unrequited love, no one's been hurt, and i can't see why its wrong. I'm sorry i just can't.

*sigh*...ok rant is over now. Next:

There's a major update that needs to reach the people i love, but I'm super scared of how they're gonna respond, how should i say it?

And i have a new favorite song, its called "Cheap and Cheerful" by The Kills here are the lyrics:

I'm bored of cheap and cheerful
I want expensive sadness
hospital bills, parole
open doors to madness

I want you to be crazy cos you're boring baby when you're straight
I want you to be crazy cos you're stupid baby when you're sane

I'm sick of social graces
show your sharp-tipped teeth
lose your cool in public
dig that illegal meat

cos love is just a dialogue
you can survive on ice cream
you got the same needs as a dog

it's alright to be mean
it's alright to be mean
I want you to be crazy cos you're boring baby when you're straight
I want you to be crazy cos you're stupid baby when you're sane

it's alright to be mean
it's alright to be mean
I want you to be crazy cos you're boring baby when you're straight
I want you to be crazy cos you're stupid baby when you're sane

aha isn't it awesome? = ]
and i have a new hero: Thirteen from house. and the actress who plays her (Olivia Wilde) is fricken awesome. she speaks french and is a huge sponsor of doctors without borders. And shes been married for 6 years, which is fabulous and rare thees days in Hollywood.

Ok I'm done now. Respond pleez it would be super nice of you. emwads@yahoo.com for those who need it. talk to ya'll later and maybe I'll post again in a month.