The play, God, Examples..

well the play is over.... = [[[
I'm so sad cause this play has changed me so much. i thought that there would be no way we could pull it off a week ago. we hadn't gotten in enough practices, we weren't really acting serious about it. Bee was obviously doubtful that we were ready. but the awesome thing was that Bee, and the Seniors and Em all seemed to really trust God that we would be able to do it. and i was like wow...
and lo and behold we did the performances better than i thought possible.

But the fact that Bee is having a baby in like 3 weeks kinds ruins the prospect of doing it again next year.

I'm so happy for them (bee and tom) and this is soooo not about me, but it won't be the same without them. bee and em have shown such devotion and kindness its kinda hard to believe.

lol we had the cast party last night and i don't think I've ever seen more people crying over one person. She has touched all of us so much, even me, whose only known her for 2 plays, was sobbing. (that's partly my personality but still) and the fact that she seemed to have a place in her heart for every single one of us, even for the people like me that have only known her for a little while was just so amazing. i hope she realizes the godly example she set for me.

on Monday, kay and i lied to her. we told her we were goin out to talk to our parents and we weren't. kay actually left but that's not the point. she found out somehow and we talked about it. i told her i didn't believe she cared about me because she didn't know me very well. that was the second lie, now i feel horrible about it. cause she seemed to really want me to believe her, like it was important to her that i knew she cared about me. yea i feel like crap about that now...

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anyways, onto other things. today i read my bible a seriously prayed for the first time since before basketball started. it was awesome. people wonder why they don't get a lot out of reading their bibles, and i wondered the same thing, now i know its all about how your approaching it. is your reading the Bible so you can "get something out of it" then your prolly not gonna get a whole heck of a lot. but if you approach it as a way to communicate with God, and way to hear him respond to your prayers, then your more likely to hear something, it may not be what you want to hear, but its something.

i think i have my life going the right way finally. i realized that i hate what i am now, and the only way i can change is to put my trust in God. i don't know how to do the whole christian thing, and i don't really understand how to have a relationship with Him, but i trust that he'll lead me to the right places.

and now that i look back on these last couple of years . I've fell away from God. but he has introduced people into my life that have given me such a great example. i think if i didn't know these people then i would be a lot farther from God than i am.

and because i would think it was awesome to be that person for someone I'm going to list their names: pastor Garret, Coach Clark, Jess, Bee, Em, Liz, Kara, Megan S.. the list goes on but i can't think of them right now. but thank you guys for being an awesome example and thank you God for allowing me back into your arms.

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